Noooooooooo!!!!!…

18 02 2009

DAMN YOU PEREZ HILTON!!!

DAMN YOU! You effectively ruined my day! 

rachel_bilson1

Maybe she’s not a beard after all??? Congrats to actress/fashionista Rachel Bilson and her actor beau, Hayden Christensen.

The duo got engaged in December and the news is just leaking now! A friend babbled, “They’re so excited! They’re a great couple.

Rachel seems thrilled beyond belief.” A wedding date has yet to be set. We can’t wait to see what Miz Bilson chooses to wear!


I’m at a loss of words. (Thats not true, I just figure people say that for dramatic effect) Are you serious?!? Surely you can’t be serious Ms. Bilson. I mean…. WTF?

DId you SEE Jumper? I did! It was on VALENTINES DAY! I guess you’ve already forgotten the time we spent together haven’t you Rach?? It just hurts.

Hadyen Christensen? For reals?

Did you not see what he did to Padme? Yeah he killed her! Now, granted this may have happened in a Galaxy Far, Far Away, and it may not be 100% real, but for fuck sake!

He took out Natalie Portman (huge sin among geeks), dismantled the Jedi Order (even bigger sin among geeks), and became Darth Vader (Somewhat cool for geeks. Not so much Hayden becomeing Darth Vader, but Darth Vader in general). I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be really hard to make out with that mask on Rach!

Someone help her out. More than likely Hayden has picked up a little knowledge of the Force and is now brain washing her! Quick, I need a Jedi, and I need one NOW! Get over to Ms. Bilson’s house and start some Jedi mind shit to make her see the light.

Plus, do some IMDBing Rachel. Did you know he was in Life as A House? What a pussy.

Lord I’m pissed.

Hadyen Christensen again ruining my life. First it was the Star Wars movies, now it’s taking Rachel Bilson.

A pox on you Hayden Christensen! A POX!

More on my love of Rachel Bilson Here…

Untill Next time…

SarcasmAsAWeapon@gmail.com

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Harry Potter’s A Little Bitch, and Another F.U. From Nature…

23 04 2008

First this is just a little short post. These two stories for some reason caught my attention.

The first is a little story about Danile Radcliffe, (AKA Harry Potter)

SYDNEY (Reuters) – Daniel Radcliffe, the actor behind the boy wizard Harry Potter, is hunting for a mystery Australian girl who cast a spell on him at a film awards party, local media reported on Monday.

Radcliffe, who started playing Potter in the popular Harry Potter movies when he was 11, has often spoken about not being able to find a girlfriend.

But Sydney’s Daily Telegraph Newspaper said Radcliffe, 18, now wanted help to track down a woman he met briefly at a film event in Australia.

“She stared at me all night and I was going to get her number and then I couldn’t find her,” Radcliffe told the newspaper.

“I must have walked around that party for an hour trying to look for this girl, like some sad pathetic dweeb, but it would have been worth it.”

The Daily Telegraph has started its own search for the mystery beauty, asking the young woman to contact the newspaper.

Reuters/Nielsen

Seriously?? WTF? Harry Potter can’t get his own women?? So he’s asking the world to put in a good word? YOU GO TO HELL HARRY POTTER! Seriously. How fair is that, that you get to ask the world to give you the introduction to some woman you didn’t have the balls to talk to in the first place? And why the hell didn’t you just go talk to her? I mean, it’s not like you can’t name drop….

Harry “Hello there.”
Sweet Hot Young Lady “hi.”
Harry “How are you?”
SHYL “I’m doing good. You?”
Harry “Im doing really good. I was curious why this is taking so long for us not to be doing it already?”
SHYL “I’m not sure I understand?”
Harry “You don’t know who I am?”
SHYL “Sorry, No.”
Harry “I’m Harry Potter?”
SHYL “I’m sorry who?”
Harry “You know, Harry Potter… there are books about me. Millions of adults and kids know me. There are video games, bedsheets, gifts sets, a vibrating magic broom for heavens sake. I have my own action figure!”
SHYL “still, I’m very sorry.”
Harry “Son of a bitch…… ABRACADABRA!”
SHYL “Holy Shit you’re Harry Potter! Let’s do it”

I’m a little pissed off that Harry gets to use the media outlets to find some hot girl he bitched out on saying hi to in the first place. I mean if it were any real guy he’d watch the young lady walk out of his life, then have to resort to MySpace stalking. Once he found her, he’d have to find some sort of way to send her a message without sounding/coming off stalkerish. Which you can’t, there is no way in hell to avoid that scenario, so basically you have to lie awake at night wonder what she’s doing, where she is, who she’s with… all the while being alone.

Apox on you Harry Potter and your Sorcerous ways!

If any of you have been reading along these days, you’ll remember a little piece I wrote about how mother nature is one cranky bitch. You can read about it here (Nature 2 Hippies 0). In fact if you want this to make any sense, you’ll probably have to. Well you don’t have to. I mean, I hope you could basically pick up on the title of the blog here with the article I’m about to copy…

How sad.

Stephan Miller, a 39 year old animal trainer from Big Bear Lake, CA, was attacked by a grizzly bear on Tuesday at the Predators in Action wild animal training center.

Two other handlers were working with the 5 year-old bear, named Rocky, when it attacked. The other two were able to pepper spray and subdue Rocky.

Luckily, there were no other injuries.

You’ve probably seen Rocky before. It’s the same grizzly bear featured in Will Ferrell’s film Semi-Pro, in which Ferrell appears to wrestle with the bear.

What could have gone so wrong???

Officials arrived to investigate the incident and Fish and Game spokesman, Harry Morse, said yesterday that his department would not decide whether Rocky would be euthanized since the attack occurred outside its jurisdiction.

It may be up to the San Bernandino county animal care officials to decide Rocky’s fate.

Poor thing. He didn’t asked to be locked up and trained like pet. He’s a wild animal, after all. You can’t really ever predict what they’re going to go.

Just ask Siegfried and Roy!

Eerily enough, Randy Miller, the owner of the training location and cousin of the attacked trainer, was quoted in the local newspaper in February as saying Rocky is “the best working bear in the business.” But continued by stating, “If one of these animals gets a hold of your throat, you’re finished.”

What will happen to poor Rocky???
(article from PerezHilton.com)

I wish more people in this world would listen to me. People, bears are wild animals. Wild animals live in nature. Nature is one cranky bitch. Seriously. Test her see what happens. And, if what happens, is what I told you happens, don’t think I won’t be posting Mother Natures scoreboard up! She’s currently undefeated and it doesn’t look like anyone is going to be bringing her down. Unless Father Time gets his act in gear, but he’s a dude, so we all know we’ve got PLENTY of time left.