It Hasn’t Been Laminated…

28 07 2009

Some people call it The List others call it the Top 5 but whatever name it takes it’s the same. It’s been featured on Friends and Entourage and those are just two prime examples that I can think of.

Essentially, the list consists of your top 5 celebrities you would have a free pass to sleep with if you were ever in a relationship. (one most also remember the celebrity must want to sleep with you as well. This is where the list works, and most celebrities do not sleep with the common folk.) Sometimes, the list can function as your top 5 hottest people.

To each person the list varies. It’s a very personal list, and you not need justify your selections on said list. You may need to defend them, however, justification is not necessary. People find all sorts of people attractive for many different reasons. Some like my friend Meagan has a certain TV funny man on her list, that, while not the most attractive man in the world, strikes a chord with her funny bone that no man has done before. Therefore, he is at the top of her list. Sometimes, people add pillars of the attractive people to their list for it’s only the right thing to do. For example Micah, has had Halle Berry as his number one for a number of years. I wonder if I may see the day where she topples from that great pillar of number one-ness. Not that I want to see that day come.

There are some minor rules and other reason a person may make your list. I’ll allow Ross Gellar to illustrate why indeed Isabella Rossalini was omitted in his final 5.

Which brings me to some of the rules I’ve always had. #1. You can’t pick a person you may actually run into. For example, when i worked in Radio, there was always a likelihood that some up and coming, or really famous person was to stop by the studio to promote something. So with that being said, I had to eliminate all music people from my list.

Rule #2. They should be living. I think this is self explanatory.

Rule #3. You must disclose the list with your significant other. Not only that, you may NOT be allowed to argue your significant others list. You must accept it, and move on. Like I said, each persons list is there own. Plus opening a dialogue about people you want to sleep with other than your significant other is important. Honesty is the best policy I believe. Even if your cheating.

There it is. Pretty basic I’d say.

However, my top 5 has been pretty solid for quite some time now. Who are they you may ask…. well…

My Number One For Years

My Number One For Years

She's Got Tattoos. My Mom Hates Tattoos. My mom would not like Ms. Fox. INSTANT attraction.

She's Got Tattoos. My Mom Hates Tattoos. My mom would not like Ms. Fox. INSTANT attraction.

Oh Summer...

Oh Summer...

She's Like my Halle Berry. She'll Always Be In Here. If there was a Mt. Rushmore of Hot Women, she'd be on it.

She's Like my Halle Berry. She'll Always Be In Here. If there was a Mt. Rushmore of Hot Women, she'd be on it.

You may have noticed A.) a pattern for one… and B.) you may have noticed there are only 4. You are not taking crazy pills. My dilemma as of late has been that I think I need to add someone to the list. Number 5 sometimes and often times fluctuates. And this is one of those times.

alg_minka-kelly
My beautiful friend Minka Kelly has recently been linked with Derek Jeter. Seeing as how I am a die hard Sox fan, I’m pretty sure I cannot have this in my top 5. It’s just to crushing to me. With that being said…

I have a new crush, and Wanted to know if you guys think I should put her in my top 5. Ladies and Gentleman, please meet, Olivia Munn

Atari is the Best!

Atari is the Best!

Yup, I'm a Star Wars Geek, and this is Awesome!

Yup, I'm a Star Wars Geek, and this is Awesome!

If you haven’t heard of Olivia Munn, it’s probably because you’re some well to do guy/girl with a real job who has since shunned video games of their youth. Olivia hosts Attack of the Show on the G4 network that revolves around all things, how shall i say… geeky. Video games, movies, comics, gadgets, and geek gear all get talked about with some relative humor and two fantastic hosts. One of course being my prospective addition to the top 5.

I debated on writing this post, because I felt it was really shallow. Then I did some deep introspection, and not only did I find nothing, I realized that I am indeed this shallow. Plus I really wanted to use the poll thing on my blog, and have another excuse to go through Olivia Munn’s blog again.

It’s funny though, because after all this searching and watching videos, I’ve come to realize that Olivia has some pretty amazing qualities outside of some very superficial ones that, lets be honest, are pretty amazing themselves. You see, she’s funny, and caring (animal blog post), was in Playboy (as we all know, my mom won’t like that, and anything my mom doesn’t like is INSTANT attraction. My mother is not a reader though, so I think were good.) and she loves Growing Pains. I too love Growing Pains.

She was also in a kick-ass music video… good lord reminds me of Best Buy days…

I feel like unbeknown to her, we are a perfect match.

So.. anyway…. time to vote people…

Until Next Time…

Email me
SarcasmAsAWeapon@gmail.com

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Mourning…

21 10 2008

It’s true, I’m in mourning. My Red Sox had a valiant comeback from 3 games to 1 to force a game 7 at Tropicana Field. In which they lost.

The big story however is game 5.

I’ve mentioned before that I coach a high school soccer team and that commitment is pretty important to me. I attend all the games and assist the head coach in just about everything. In fact at one point, while our head coach was serving a suspension, I was the interim head coach for a game. We tied. But that’s not important.

That night however, I had a gigantic conflict as the Red Sox, in an elimination game were on tv. Now, mind you, I don’t leave the Sox for just about anything. Almost nothing in fact. Last year, while the Sox were in the World Series, I sat at home while all my friends were out galavanting around in slutty halloween costumes. And for those that know me, missing out on Slut Appreciation Weekend (read: Halloween) is not something I take lightly. Nor is drinking. But however the Sox were on. And I did not leave my couch.

I knew however that I was going to have to leave for my game that night. A decision I did not take lightly. I’m pretty superstitious and knowing that I would be away from my spot while supporting the Sox did not sit well with me.

At the time I left for my game, the Sox were down 5-0. I had to leave. I didn’t want to. But had too. The Sox needed me. I was letting them down, and if they lost, it was all my fault. At the game while warming up my goalkeeper, someone shouted from the side, Coach… Sox down 7-0 in the seventh.

Crushed.

My attention was turned to the game at hand. A must win for my team to have any shot at playoffs. With my rising blood pressure from the Sox, and the fact that we held a narrow, 1-0 lead in the socer game, my heart was taking a beating.

We held on to the lead, and finished with a 1-0 win, and a mighty brighter hope for playoffs. Something that hasn’t been done with our school since 95 I believe. It was a big win. It basically cancelled out the thoughts and feelings I had about the Sox losing. Until I returned home. I had realized that although we had gotten our win, the Red Sox, who I’ve been supporting since I was 8 years old, had lost.

I went to my room to check out my emails, facebook, myspace, and my phone. Upon checking my phone the strangest thing happened. I had 7 new text messages, 5 missed phone calls, and 3 new voice mails. Contrary to popular belief I DO NOT get this many messages, phone call, or voice mails in an entire week, let alone a two hour time span.

I began to read some of the text..

That Papelbon guy is good. Weird why would Paps be in. losing 7-0 why would they have a closer in. odd.
Still breathing. Yeah, why wouldn’t I be… 7-0, no one comes back from 7-0 in the 7th inning.
Well hot damn. Hot damn, what… we were down 7-0 in the 7th inning.
You best be watching!! Well I would like, to, but I’m not sure what you’re all excited about.. it’s 7-0 in the 7th inning.

So at this point, I decided to check ESPN.com… and there it was… the Sox had pulled off the most incredible, improbable comeback of the ALCS history. The Sox had come back from 7-0 in the 7th inning to win the game!

I was in shock, the next couple minutes of my life I actually don’t remember. I tried texting my friends, back but I’m pretty sure it was incoherent nonsense. They came back. They won. They were destined for #3. Of course, we all know what happened. And if you don’t well shame on you. Sox took game 6 and pushed a game 7 which they gallantly lost.

At least now I can go out for Slut Appreciation Weekend. Bonus.

I’ve been in mourning for the last couple of days. It stings, and it hurts. We got beat by a great team. They were good. They ARE good. In fact I think the Rays are so good, that not only will they win the WS, but the Sox got the best scouting report on their 2010 roster.

My life is returning to normal. In fact, in other news, I’ve taken a job working at a large warehouse chain made popular by the movie Employee of the Month. I worked there a long time ago right after high school. So almost ten years ago did I work there. Which turns out was to my benefit because a lot of the same people are STILL there. Amazing. I had to take a drug test so pending the drug test, I’ll be going to orientation on Thursday. Should be interesting.

Orientation, should be interesting. Not the drug test.

For those of you without DirecTV, I have to say you’re missing one of the greatest season of Friday Night Lights. This show is AMAZING. I wish I could give you all sorts of insight, and we could talk about it. Hell, no one I know has DirecTV so I can’t talk about the show without giving things away. It bothers me a lot, because there is a lot I need to discuss with my friends.

Like Lyla Garrity…

photo from Men's Health Magazine

photo from Men's Health Magazine

Sidebar: I’d like it to be known, that Minka Kelly has been knocked out of my top 5 list of hot girls. You see, while she is incredibly hot, Minka has been involved in activities that have lowered her status. Her dropping out of the list reasons are three fold…
#1. She Dated John Mayer.
#2. She’s Dating Derek Jeter.
#3. She was at a University of Texas football game.
(she was actually at the game WITH Derek Jeter… two things that are at the top of my HATE list at the SAME TIME. MINKA WHY?!?!? WHY?!?!)

or is it just me, or is coaches daughter getting a bit hotter?

Getty Images

Getty Images

Last but not least, what guy wouldn’t want to be Tim Riggins?!?! Captain of the SS Ta Ta’s.
(aside from sleeping with your best friends girlfriend, couple days after he was paralyzed… whatever.)

All these burning questions and topics I need to discuss with people.

Speaking of good tv, is anyone else watching Entourage??? It’s been awesome… all I have to say is Ari Gold is back. He’s already had some amazing lines that I’m pretty sure you can find at one of my favorite blog sites… Ari Gold quotes.. check it out. Hilarious.

Oh and How I Met Your Mother has also been great this season. The last episode was hilarious. Watch it here and enjoy….. Shelter Island

The Seattle Mariner comment was HILARIOUS.

Anway, enough from me… if you want to know, or discuss more TV here is what’s on my DVR…
The Hills
How I Met Your Mother
Big Bang Theory
Heroes
Chuck
Friday Night Lights
The Office
Grey’s Anatomy
Entourage

Speaking of Tv, this is one of the best text messages that brightened my week….
I get sick of MTV’s Parental Control and then they throw some lesbians in there and suck me back in.

these are my friends.

SarcasmAsAWeapon@gmail.com

until next time.