So a long time ago back when I had a “PC” my brothers and I stumbled upon a game entitled Tropico and the basic premise of the game was to rule your island as a Dictator.
You could do all sorts of things, set up trade routes with other countries, make your island a tropical paradise worth vacationing at, or an industrial powerhouse that exports a valuable commodity. One of the coolest things whilst running for another election you could do a myriad of things. Rig the election, run it clean and fair, or my favorite, off the competition. That’s right, you could have your people murder the competition in some back alley. It was pretty effing sweet!
So it had hit me the other day, while watching Obama attack Hillary.
“Holy crap, I’m going to run for President!”
I mean it’s perfect. I don’t currently have a job, this will be great! I mean how hard can running for president be?? The way I see it, every single person running for president is basically just a really really damn good car salesman. (or woman.)
I mean think about it people. Every single person running for president baiscally tells you what you want to hear like you’re buying a used car.
“ummmm hey I’d really like it if I could get my car shipped from overseas?”
no.1 “Of course we can do that. We should have had a shipment of cars here months ago, I don’t even know why the cars are over there. We’ll get it right away.
no.2 “What? Why would you need a car from overseas? You don’t, those cars that are overseas, well they’re getting better equipped and such. Making sure the safety standards are set and such. Wouldn’t want you to get a car that isn’t safe right? Let’s get you into a car here.
“I’m really concerned about the environment, is this car good for it?”
no.1 “yes this car is great for the environment. It’s a hybrid, gets great gas milage and will protect and help in the world becoming more green!”
no.2 “I mean yeah, this car is great for the environment. It runs on gas, which we buy, which helps our economy. It also has a sunroof. That way you can see the sun and such.
“does it come with a first aid kit?”
no.1 “as of right now, no it does not come with a first aid kit, but we are doing everything we can to make sure all our models are outfitted with first aid kits for everyone.
no.2 “well right now, first aid kits are an option. The cheapest option on first aid kits gets you the bare essentials, while the more expensive option you get, gives you more aid thingys. Would you like me to put you down for the best option?
“Does the car have a comprehensive manual from which I can learn things?
no.1 “as a matter of fact, no, I believe the manual isn’t satisfactory. I’m positive that we are trying to put more money into the manuals so that you will be able to learn more about your car.
no.2 “why yes, the car’s manual is fine. Plus if we put more money into making larger manuals, the overall price of the car would go up. This manual will be just fine for you, you’ll learn just enough.
So, there you go.
I totally think I could do this. I mean, I might need to brush up a little on the ACTUAL issues affecting this country, but I’m pretty sure I could tell people what they want to hear, just enough for them to say, eh sure, I’ll vote for him. I mean that’s all I’m really looking for. To sway the undecided votes in this country. I’m not going to break down the diehard Reps. or Dems. It’s just not happening. Unless my stunning good looks does it. Which I’m also counting on for a percentage of the votes. Stunning good looks. Seriously. I’ll take 2% of my votes for that reason alone. 2% isn’t that much to ask.
All of this isn’t really as important as actually putting your balls on the table and voting for whoever you want to vote for. If you’re like me, and you don’t consume your life with politics and are still undecided here is a great website for you to view and make you more informed.
I went. I’ve been a couple times actually, and low and behold my candidate changed. Make sure you go and check it out.
while you’re checking that out, make sure to check out this as well….
Rock The Vote
Whatever you do this November please make sure to vote. It’s simple. It’s easy.
ps. If I ever do get elected, you better believe everyone’s calling me El Presidente, and if an opponent was to show up missing…. what can I say, I’ve got good friends who do bad things.