Coupons Are The Bane of My Existence….

26 10 2008

So today was my first day at my “new” job. The reason I say “new” is because it really isn’t new. I’ve done this job before in the same exact warehouse, with mostly the same exact people.

It’s amazing to me that this place pays so well, that many people never ever have any aspiration to leave. They just move on up. Which for me I suppose is a great thing. You see, for 5-6 years ago when I was employed full time there were a couple of middle aged women who were putting in their time. These same middle ages women liked the fact that I was young, impressionable, and “cute.”

Flash forward a couple of years, and those same middle aged woman are still there, except I’m “grown up,” and I believe the term handsome was used, which as we all know, is a term I feel should only be reserved for grandmas to use. Anyway, that’s besides the point. The point of this is, because I’ve known these ladies for years, and because they are now in charge, I was able to land myself a bit of a bonus on my first day.

I was told, on my first day, to jump on register 15. Which is cool, because I get paid more than the base pay and I hate “boxing” things up for people. So off I went to register 15 to start cashiering, something I haven’t done in roughly 5-6 years.

Nothing upsets the heard more than someone “new guy” coming into people spots and jacking one of the cashier spots that was open for the holiday season. One of the supervisors came in to talk to me on my lunch

Sup: “dude, some people are pissed off already that you’re cashiering.
Me: “oh I’m sorry. (I wasn’t.)
Sup: “it’s cool, I mean I put you on there.”
Me: Well I thank you for that.
Sup: “I just told people you’ve worked here before and knew what you were doing.”
Me: “oh cool, that’s good. I mean, I do. Ya know… know what I’m doing.”

Seriously people, it’s like riding a bike. I mean, I’m not going to lie, there were definitely some things that I didn’t remember but I don’t think I shortchanged the register, and no one got outta the store with a free plasma, so I’m chalking up day one as a success.

Working there isn’t without its perks people….

Today was in fact, the last day to use The Warehouses coupons!!! and HOLY SHIT are people bat shit crazy for their coupons. I mean, I guess I can understand. This place has wholesale prices. And now were giving away coupons on wholesale prices. The tomfoolery and chicanery is not hype people! COUPONS!!
(at this point, I imagine any scene from sesame street where grover is running around with his hands in the air shaking them to and fro. This is exactly how people feel about coupons at The Warehouse.)

People had to have their coupons. They NEEDED those coupons. Even for shit they didn’t need. Dude came in and bought some Oil of Olay shit for his skin. And by dude I mean one of those guys you’d see cutting down a tree, chewing tobacco, and brandishing a gun in the cab of his truck. (My apologies to any man, who in fact does the above said activities and purchases Oil of Olay to reduce wrinkles in their face.)

So of course, all day long I am forced to deal with people and their coupon-mania. And as I’ve stated before, I don’t like people, and I REALLY don’t like people with coupons. Needless to say it was a long day of people with their coupons, people who after years of providing bags for their meat, STILL bring up their meat not in a bag, therefore allowing all of the sweet awesome meat juice to flow like the salmon of Capistrano all over my hands, jeans, and register.

(and YES, I know that was one long ass run on sentence.)

All of this aside, I see some positives to my new found job.

#1. I get to keep my beautiful car. For which I may or may not be in love with. Whatever.

#2. I get to see some friends of mine come in with awesome sweet jobs, and ask… “How ya doing?” With the slight head tilt like someone died. Which in my case something has, my pride.

#3. I get to see some of the local 5 o’clock news casters! And, heads up…. you look fine without the HD makeup… but you’re bratty little child…. yeah, next time, roll in without that little guy. mmkay.

#4. Free membership.

#5. Free samples.

#6. More than likely I’ll do most of my moms Thanksgiving and Chirstmas shopping for her.

#7. I’m pretty sure working there is going to give me plenty of material of this blog. That is, unless my bosses find it, and fire me for it.

Until next time…

SarcasmAsAWeapon@gmail.com

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3 responses

29 10 2008
Miss E

Yay for jobs!! Who cares where it is. You’re employed. I wish my man was employed full-time. ANYWHERE. I love you!!!

29 10 2008
fastmoneydan

i wish i loved anything half as much as people love coupons.

8 04 2009
JBird

hey
you forgot about the part where you get to work with one of your new buddies (soon to be known as the girl in the red dress at your fav drinking grounds…)
~,~

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