98 Over 69….

22 08 2008

That’s my blood pressure at this point in my life.

98 over 69.

How do I know this. Well I was at Rite Aid this fine morning picking up a prescription for my father. But more on that later.

It’s surprising my blood pressure wasn’t higher considering the week I’ve had. By all accounts this wasn’t really THAT bad of a week. I mean there are people who are having a much worse week than I am. So I guess in the grand scheme of things this blog is just going to be a gigantic pity party for me. And you’re all invited.

As many of you may well know, I am currently unemployed. I don’t hide that fact. Rewind to a couple of months ago (6 I think. Good lord.) I interviewed for a position as a Community Relations Manager for the American Cancer Society. The position was perfect for me. Working with events, managing volunteers, and generally reaping a whirlwind of good karma.

The director interviewing me loved me. I felt really good about this opportunity. My friend Gretch who works for the ACS set up the interview and was also my little inside mole to the goings on of the ACS. So after the stellar interview I waited. It wasn’t until about a week or so after the interview that the director called and informed me that, while I was very impressive in the interview, another candidate who had volunteered for the last ten years had applied near the deadline, and they felt as if hiring from “within” was a very important concept for their company. While this stung, I couldn’t help but agree.

However the director informed that a position may be opening up very soon. So I waited. I actually went back to work for the radio station for about a month to a month and a half. Funny things was about that, I went back to the position I had basically had while I was an intern.

While I can’t thank my people at the radio station enough, (the time spent their did bring in some needed income and it was great seeing my friends again) I couldn’t help but want to slit my wrists. You see I was back on the phones calling 14 year old girls alerting them that their valued prize (a cd) was now available for them to come pick up.

However, most 14 year olds aren’t home around 1:30 in the afternoons. And oddly enough, most of the time their dads are. So you can only imagine when a guy who’s near thirty calls an unsuspecting father of a 14 year old girl. Let me just tell you the first couple minutes are VERY awkward.

Dad: “hello”
Me: “Hi, is Mandy home?”
Dad: “WHO is this?!?!”
Me: “This is Preston from Z100.”
Dad: “uh huh.”
Me : “I’m just calling to let her know her Miley Cyrus CD is in.”
Dad: “yeah. I’ll let her know.”
Me: “thank you.”
Dad: “hey, quick question. Is this your number, like can I get a hold of you again? You, know, In case I need to come down there with her???”
Me: “yessir, this is my number. I look forward to seeing you.”
Dad: “I’m sure you do. Goodbye.”

That wasn’t an extreme case even. I’m stressed thinking about it.

Anyway, I did that for awhile, and I will also remind you that this was at the height of Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry “I kissed a girl.” And if you know anything about top 40 radio you’ll know that these two songs were played on average, every hour and a half. Kids love to hear their favorites.

So I left the radio station and had heard rumblings of things coming together at the ACS. So I held off on other opportunities. Even slowed down the job search. A couple weeks ago, I received an email from the ACS saying a position was open, lets meet next week! You can’t imagine how excited I was. Finally!

High School Soccer started this past week, and once again I’m back at my alma matter coaching the goalkeepers with an old friend. It’s great and I love it. Takes my mind off of everything in the entire world for at least 2 hours everyday. This is my fourth year back and I’m excited as ever.

We had tryouts this week, and it was really tough. There was a lot of talent and not a lot of spots. I hate crushing young men’s hopes and dream, which is why I’m not the head coach! Wise is the head coach and he’s the one who had to cut a couple seniors this week. Harsh times. He also got some death glares when announcing who was on what team.

Let me just say, if you suck, you should probably know it. And you shouldn’t question your JV2 team placement. Unless you have those types of parents who pretend you’re good at everything. You’re not. And your parents are just filling your tiny little head with false hopes and dreams. More than likely you should direct your anger toward them instead of the coaching staff of the high school. I only say this, cause I don’t want my car keyed.

After a long day at practice, I came home to check my email.

I had an email from the director of the ACS. Informing me that my driving record from 04-05 was preventing her from hiring me.

FUCK.

I was (am) literally crushed. I think thats the best word for it. I can’t explain it any other way.

So as I’ve been attempting to deal with that (albeit very poorly) I was awaken earlier this Friday morning with a phone call from my mother. It took me a second to realize what was going on. My mom generally never calls me. Cause, well, I’m always home as is she. So the unexpecting phone call woke me quite sudden.

My little brother had gotten into a car accident. I guess he had rear ended some truck and the tralier hitch went through the grill. He and my sister were in the car, and they’re both fine which is all that matters.

I can tell you however, nothing, and I mean nothing freaks me out more than when I hear distress in my moms voice. I shot out of bed and she informed me that my dad needed to be picked up for he should have just been done with having oral surgery.

I went to the oral surgeon to pick up my dad, who was high as a kite. Literally. Like high. I didn’t feel at this place and time was the right time to be telling him that his other son (I was the first mind you) may have totaled the car. I figured we would just sit here in the recovery section, repeating the same conversation over and over again because he couldn’t remember that we had just had it.

After we slowly made it to my car, I took him to rite aid so I could get his prescription filled. The nice lady at the counter informed me it would take roughly 20 minutes for them to fill a couple pills of percoset (one of my favs) into a bottle.

So be it. As my father lay in a heap in the front seat of my car, I decided with all that was wrong with the world to take my blood pressure on one of the cool machines. (I don’t really know how cool they are now, but when I was kid, man, those were the shit.)

As the song “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” blared over the Rite Aid loudspeaker, reminding me of the Kelly, Brenda, and Emily Valentine love triangle from BH 90210, I couldn’t help but be just a little more at ease. My life as rough as it is right now will never be as bad as the psycho Emily Valentine. I mean, I’ve seen some tough shit before, but burning down a parade float is where I draw the line.

The results for the test were up….

98 over 69 with a pulse of 59 BPM.

Good news. I’m not going to die. My life really isn’t that bad.

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Bob Saget….

11 08 2008

Man if this wasn’t a kick in the ass…..

So I’m minding my own business wasting away my life on the internet like most unemployed people do. When I figured it was time to visit the ole iTunes to see what I’ve been missing out on in life.

Come to find out, not much really.

However, I do like to peruse the Celebrity Playlists every so often to see who I’m compatible with. For the most part I’m not compatible with anyone. It’s funny to me to see all these tv/movie stars select music that no one’s heard of, and just pick it to be like “oooh look at me, I’m so original, I’m earth friendly too, so here is a reflection of my musical tastes that you’ve never heard of.”

That’s how I know actor/actresses are full of shit. I know you’re were al listening to the Backstreet Boys back then. I know you’re probably in love with the Katie Perry song I Kissed a Girl now. Admit it. No one thinks less of you. Join the masses, I mean shit, we buy your movies, tv shows, etc etc, throw us a bone.

Come to think of it, I was compatible with one “celebrity.” Maria Sharapova. Ooooh how we could have spent many a nights staying up late, talking Russian, taking pictures with your Canon Powershot, trying on our new clothes from the Nike employee store, all the while listening to our shared perfect playlist. *sigh*

Alas, more than likely none of that was going to come to fruition.

However, I got an an unexpected compatibility score when I came across none other than Danny Tanner’s Celebrity Playlist. I’m not going to lie, 90% of this list is awesome. I love/like a great deal most of the songs on this playlist.

That doesn’t mean that me and Bob Saget are going to be hanging out anytime soon. That is unless I get to come over while he visits his next door neighbors. (That my friends was a reference to Entourage. Make sure to check out that episode cause that one was hilarious. And the neighbors were hot.)

Here is Bob Saget’s playlist. (With my comments added.)

Creep Radiohead

I’ve always loved this song. I’m pretty sure my brother got me hooked on this back when I was a little Alterna-Teen. This was a pretty sweet little anthem and the guitar riff was pretty bad ass. Pretty sure I may have air guitared once or twice to this little ditty.

Better Man Pearl Jam

I’m not sure why, but this has always stood out in my head as one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs. I think it came from the Live in Atlanta 3 CD set that I used to have. I used to plug in headphones and lay there and listen to this album. Thank god it was grunge back then, cause I couldn’t handle myself being emo.

Gimme Shelter The Rolling Stones

I love this song too. For one it’s on Rock Band, and we all know how much I love Rock Band. Two, its a pretty sweet Rolling Stones song. Three, if I’m not mistaken it’s the song used to open The Departed. Scorcese and The Rolling Stones go together like Peanut Butter and Jelly. Look up on IMDB.com how many times he’s used their songs. It’s a lot. I’ve always want to see a Stones concert, just to say I’d been.

Wake Me Up When September Ends Green Day

Meh, not my favorite Green Day song. American Idiot was good and all, but probably my all time favorite album from Green Day was Kerplunk. Look that one up.

All Apologies (Live) Nirvana

I loved this performance. Loved it. I’ve always wanted a huge flat-screen tv and surround sound so I could play music DVD’s while just lounging around my house. Well, I don’t have my own house, or flat-screen, or even this DVD. If i did, I can almost guarantee this would be on. A lot.

Should I Stay or Should I Go The Clash

Classic.

The Heart of the Matter Don Henley

I used to program this song for the radio station I worked for. Good times Mr. Don Henley.

(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding Elvis Costello & The Attractions

Can’t say I’d really ever heard this before. Lot of people have Elvis Costello on their list. Maybe I should check him out.

4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy) Bruce Springsteen

I didn’t say I love everything Bob does.

Sullivan Street Counting Crows August and Everything After

RPG, my roommate from college, LOVES the Counting Crows. Needless to say, this isn’t one of my favorite songs and I’ve heard it MANY times. I also saw Adam Duritz one early morning at McCarran International Airport in Vegas. Considering he was looking very much like me on a flight home, I decided probably wasn’t the most opportune time to be asking for a photo. RPG is going to be pissed.

Say John Mayer Say

I literally hate this song.

Free Fallin’ Tom Petty

Never been a BIG fan of Tom Petty, but I’ve always enjoyed this one. I think it goes way back to when I used to skateboard. (before breaking my arm.) And I’d see this video on MTV. He had all sorts of skateboarders on there. And I tried looking it up, but couldn’t find anything, I remember a long time ago, some story about one of the models in the shoot being killed by her bf or something. I dunno. Cool story. Cool Video. Cool song.

Gold Digger (feat. Jamie Foxx) Kanye West

Oh how I love Kanye West. Like a lot. He’s probably one of my all time favorite musicians. Plus this song is wicked fun, and unfortunately entirely true. Of course I’ll never know that, because I generally don’t find too many Gold Diggin women whilst unemployed. (I am now also going to make a more conscious effort to use “whilst.”)

Pork and Beans Weezer

Weezer is one of my all time favorite bands. Although we’ve had a bit of a break up in recent years with their other albums. Pinkerton was one of the last glorious albums they did. Rivers Cuomo brought back a little of the Old School Weezer magic with his solo effort, but something was still missing. Man I love Weezer.

Fake Plastic Trees Radiohead

I forgot how much I loved this song. And upon further review I didn’t have it in my iTunes. Thanks Bob Saget!

All These Things That I’ve Done The Killers

The Killers, are probably my second all time favorite band. (U2 is up there too, I just have a hard time making decisions.) And this, is probably my favorite song they’ve done. Which is cool because Nike has just used it in an AMAZING commercial. I’ve stated this before, but if you ever get the chance to check out The Killers, shell out the money and do it! It’s well worth it.

Intergalactic Beastie Boys

This song reminds me of my freshman year in college. All the sluts were shaking thier ass to this song. Thank god for the Beastie Boys.

The Comeback Shout Out Louds

I had never heard this. Still not sure I like it.

Hit So Hard Hole

It shocks me ever day that Courtney Love is still alive.

The Lady Is a Tramp Frank Sinatra

Who doesn’t love a little Frank Sinatra. I think it’s cool he was linked to the mob. Like really cool. Cause the mob is cool. I’ve got stories about a current singer who sounds much like Sinatra that has alleged ties. Its kinda cool.

God Gave Me Everything Mick Jagger

meh.

Baba O’Riley The Who

This is what Bob had to say about this song… and i quote “I used to run the mile to this song, wanting to be like Roger Daltry who ran in place to it. One of the best rock bands I’ve ever seen in concert. And I’ve seen the best. Hell, I worked with ‘Jesse and the Rippers.’

California Phantom Planet

Is it sick that I love this song? Please tell me no, because I do. I really, really do. I’m not sure what it is. The hook, the guitar, the piano…. ahh that’s right, it’s none of those. It’s Seth, Ryan, Summer and Marissa. Although I hate Marissa. If Marissa and the song Say were in a fight to the Death, I’m not sure which one i would pick. Either one could go. Good thing I dont’ listen to the radio too much and Marissa is dead. ahhhh all is right with the world.

California Love 2Pac

I find it hilarious that this song is a.) not only a fav of mine. but b.) a song that reminds Bob Saget of going to the clubs. I know I’m a white kid from the Pacific Northwest, but I do love my rap. I do love it.

My Funny Valentine Chet Baker

I bummed that Bob ended his playlist on a song that, well, I’ve never heard of. We were going so good there for a bit Bob. Damn.

So there you have it folks. Me and Bob. Soulmates in music.

That last statement will haunt my dreams.

ps, for those that really care, the Roast of Bob Saget will be on Comedy Central on August 17th. Check it out for countless hilarious jokes about Bob and the Olsen Twins.





Who Says There Are No Jobs…..

6 08 2008

So as I have continued my search for a job, I decided I would start and document some of the job offerings that are just too good to be true. Here below are some of these said jobs. I can’t believe I’m still unemployed…….

(note: all of these are from Craigslist, I’ve eliminated the email for safety purposes, but other than that all of these are straight copy and paste…. I hope you enjoy.)



Pipe layer/ Top hand (Metro Area)

Reply to: job6@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-06, 6:22PM PDT

Who wouldn’t want to lay pipe for a living?


Farm Help Wanted (Amboy, WA)

Reply to: j.com
Date: 2008-08-06, 4:15PM PDT

Person to do mowing, weeding, fencing and other miscellaneous jobs on a small farm in Amboy, WA. High School or College student preferred. Driver’s Licence and car required. Send an email describing yourself with age, education, work experience, and reasons for wanting the job.

Location: Amboy, WA
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $10

Like 10 an hour, or just 10 dollars. I need to know, cuase my dad makes me do this shit for free.


**Themed Interior Decorator ** (South East)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-06, 3:31PM PDT

I have approx. 1000 sq ft that I want decorated for the Holiday Season.
We will have Santa Clause & Helper including MANY children.

If you are interested and have at least some PROFESSIONAL experience please respond to this ad. Please send references and photos. Thank you.

What the fuck do you need a photo for? Is it so you can judge me and make a snap judgement on whether or not I look like a pedophile?


Who wants to fold my clothes??? I DONT!!! (NE MLK/Rosa Parks)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-06, 10:53AM PDT

I am hoping someone will have time this Saturday 8/9 morning to help me with a project that I have been successfully avoiding for a couple of months. I have more clothing than Mariah Carey. That may be a slight exaggeration but when its all over the upstairs of my house, it certainly feels that abundant. I am in need of someone to help me pick it all up, fold it, throw it in the wash, hang it up and generally battle the disorganization. Im guessing it wouldnt take more than a couple of hours at the most if the two of us were to get after it. Ideally I would like to start around 9 or 10 in the morning to have it all done before noon as my mother is coming to town for the weekend. Please let me know if you are available, your hourly fee, and a little bit about you (as Im letting you in my home) and we can discuss further details. Thanks!!

Clean your own fucking room…. shit…. lazy ass.


Live Sign (SW 185th & TV Hwy)

Reply to: carlosl@esigns.com
Date: 2008-08-05, 5:12PM PDT

We are searching for someone who is very neat and presentable, who enjoys being outside, interacting with passing motorists, helping direct traffic to a builder’s development, and who also likes to make SOME QUICK MONEY!!!
The builder requires the person to wear either khaki, or black pants (no denim, please), a white shirt with a collar (polo shirt type), and if possible, a white baseball hat.
You would hold onto a sign that is shaped like an arrow, moving the sign in the direction of the arrow (you may spin the sign at times) make eye contact with approaching traffic and smile and look like you are having a good time. Please bring your music and headphones, but no sitting or smoking while working. You will take a 1/2 hr break in the middle of your shift and two short 10 minute breaks.
This is a fun interactive job. The hours are 10:30 until 5 pm Sat and 11:30 am until 6 pm on Sun, or 6.5 each day.

My favorite part….. “you may spin the sign at times.” Fucking comedic gold.
Ps this job pays more than working part time at a radio station…. i’m just sayin.


Rock Band gamer needed for Saturday Concert (Portland)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-05, 1:13PM PDT

Pro Gamer needed, expert level on the game Rock Band @ the Motley Crue concert on Aug 9th, Saturday 3pm-10pm

Must be outgoing and friendly and able to talk to crowds of people as well.

If you can play the game and you would consider yourself an expert, please email your relevant experience, along with a photo (required) to (email deleted)
with the subject line “Portland Rock Band”

$14 per hr

This is like the holy grail of Jobs!
$14 an hour for Rocking My Face off! Shiiiiiiiiitttt sign me up!


I clicked on this in hopes of meeting Tony, Carmella, AJ, and Meadow. Damn.
Soprano Wanted! (Beaverton)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-03, 10:05PM PDT

Alto, Tenor & Bass looking for soprano to round out the group. Looking for someone that can read, solo and wants to get serious. We have the better part of two sets learned or close to learned, and are looking for someone that can jump right in.

Please do not call if you can’t read music.

PLEASE do call if you can!


From The Creators Of “The Alaskan Experiment” – New Casting Call (Nationwide)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-30, 8:51AM PDT

Discovery Channel, the network that brought you “The Alaska Experiment,” is currently casting its next Alaskan adventure. They’re looking for people who think they have what it takes to live and thrive in one of nature’s most brutal environments.

http://www.gotcast.com/casting-calls/Discovery-Channels-Alaskan-Adventure/51167

Location: Nationwide
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay

No pay and a high chance of death…. Well if that’s not the opportunity of a lifetime, I don’t know what is!


Need Picnic Clown Saturday, August 30th

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-29, 8:59AM PDT

Need an excellent, engergetic, fun, experienced Picnic Clown for Games, Balloons, ect for a non-profit picnic for Saturday, August 30th 12:30-3:30 pm.
Send Resume, References and fees. Will be at local park. Apx 150 people.

Who knew you could get a clown on Craigslist…. someone jot this down.


Do you have any CIRCUS-STYLE Talents? (Portland)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-28, 5:17PM PDT

I am putting together an event in mid-August, and I’m looking for talented folk to create a circus-like atmosphere. Pay is negotiable, but I don’t have the biggest budget for the event. Thanks in advance for your interest!

REALY!?!?!?


Barbershop Quartet for a phone in (Anywhere)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-24, 6:24PM PDT

I’m looking to sing to my wife and would like to have some musical backup. If your group happens to know “Take a Chance on me”, then please contact me. This can be in person or over the phone.

Location: Anywhere
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $20 and potential future gigs

20 Bucks to copy The Office…. cheap bastard.
ps if she’s your wife, one would assume she “took a chance on you.” Dumbass.


Bagpiper! i need you… (portland)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-23, 10:59PM PDT

I need a bagpiper for a wedding on Sept. 28th, in the evening. Send me any info you have (blog, website, link to hear you play?) If not, no worries, we can meet!
Please email your rates also. I’m guessing I’d need you 1-3 hours, not sure of the plan yet.
Thanks!

WORST. WEDDING. EVER.


Looking for unique people with scars

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-22, 5:39PM PDT

Don’t be shy, I know you might not usually want to show people your scar(s) but this is for an awesome project.
We are photographing scars for a project. Your face does not have to be seen if you do not want it to be.
We are aiming to have this series featured in a gallery and potentially a book.

Contact us for portfolio, information, and premise.

Finally my knife fight scar is going to pay off….


Sew Leather Pants (Portland)

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-18, 12:17PM PDT

We are looking for someone that can sew a pair of custom leather
mens dress pants.
The pattern is made.
Please email, must have own industrial equipment

Finally the Boy Scouts have paid off!!!!


Albinos Unite and Takeover

Reply to: gigs@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-13, 6:48PM PDT

I am filming the opening sequence to my show, “Waking up With Alison Sumner” It is a one minute ditty where I transform from an Albino to a Unicorn and four sweet albinos are also singing and dancing awaiting their transformation. I am designing all costumes and sets myself so the sooner I get sizes/ measurements the better. It will be fun

If ONLY I were Albino…. *sigh*






And Then We Rocked Our Faces Off…..

2 08 2008

“In history of Rock 301 we learn about the history of rock music.”
“And the we ROCKED OUR FACES OFF!”

-Muarice, Accepted

Yes its true. I started out this blog with a quote from Accepted. If you haven’t seen it, it’s not a bad movie to rent. That quote is one of my favorites from the entire movie. Surprisingly it is also what I did most of saturday afternoon.

You see, I was just chilling at home with my lil brother and we were obviously both bored. We have a stockpile of old Playstation 2 games, along with some scattered Xbox games. For Christmas last year we were able to procure a Playstation 3 and so some of our older games are just plain sucky.

With that in mind we gathered up all of our un-played games, and I even threw in my Xbox to take to Game Stop to trade them in for some new games. Our ultimate goal was to get NCAA 09 so that I could play my friend Haggy online and never have to leave the comforts of my AC at home. I could also see epic battles of Ducks and Beavers for months before the real thing actually took place.

Our gaming geek who runs his shop like well oiled machine finally was able to tally up all our trade ins. Coming to a grand total 170 dollars. With that the wheels in my head began to spin. And my little kid inside me (who’s not nearly as repressed as the fat kid.) looked around the store for something… ANYTHING worth 170 bucks.

Sidebar. When I get bored I have a tendency to solve my boredom in perhaps a little unorthodox way. Retail Therapy. That’s right. I like to buy things. It makes me feel better. Now, I don’t go all woman and shop for clothes or shoes I tend to buy electronics, video games, and movies. Although I’m not going to lie, a nice pair of shoes can solve a lot of problems. (which also reminds me, that last statement doesn’t make me gay, it makes me look gay.)

So after glancing around the store, I found it. I knew it had to be mine.

Me: “Hey dude, how much is Rock Band?”
Gaming Geek: “it’s $170.”
Me: (with eyes lit up) REALLY?!?!”
GG: “uh, yeah.”
Me: “We’ll take it!”
GG: (at this point obviously not amused with my antics.) “cool.”

So it was ours. We took our store credit and traded it in for Rock Band! Then I purchased NCAA 09 to cure my retail therapy, because we didn’t actually “buy” Rock Band.

I’m not kidding you when I say it felt so much like Christmas morning. My bro and I hurriedly took the huge box downstairs to unpack and set up the glorious drum set, mic, and new guitar. Packaging was strewn across the basement like a tornado had hit. But I can promise you, we had that thing set up in record time!

Can I tell you how much fun we had!!! It was amazing. I played Guitar and my bro played drums. We played so long that he developed a callus/blister on his hands. My legs began to hurt from standing in a guitar playing rock stance for so long.

Our band, Basement Brothers, is looking for two more members. We need bass and vocals. It would totally help your chances if you were hot in either case. In fact, it may be the sole purpose we pick you. So gear up the vocal chords, head to Best Buy to pick up your bass guitar, and give me a call. We’ll hang out, rock our faces off, and my mom may even make us brownies.

If you’ve never seen the Rock Band in it’s glory then check out this video of the Best Buy employees doing a little morning meeting.

Ps, this meetings actually take place about once a month. The usually begin at 7 in the morning on a Saturday. BB management feels this is the best time to get all the store employees in once spot at one time. Every meeting consists of the managers doing some sort of “training.” No one listens, and 99% of all the younger store employees are either hung over, or still rip roaring drunk. There have been many times where Gibbs, Big P, and I all rolled into the Best Buy morning meeting and had booze seeping outta every pore. The best was the management would usually get us a nice little breakfast spread, and nothing soaks up booze like 5 or 6 maple bars. Trust me.

I’m not sure if it was just our store, but we never did anything cool like that. EVER.

Of course, it’s probably because we were all still too drunk to Rock our Faces off!

By the way… See something in the internet you’d like me to rant about… or think is funny… or you think I might enjoy it… the feel free to email anything you’d like to…

SarcasmAsAWeapon@gmail.com

Until next time.