Coming To Terms With It….

2 06 2008

So after a huge dissapointement in my life last week, I took some time to reflect on some things. Nothing actually came of it, because by reflect I actually mean, played a lot of viedo games. A LOT. That is besides the point. The point being is I wrote this blog a long time ago on MySpace, and I thought I would just bring it on over to my new site. For some of you this will be old, for others this will be brand new. Either way, it’s one of my favorites so I hope you enjoy.

Without further ado……

The world is really a cruel place. Some of my friends that maybe a little older may have already come to terms with this. Divorce, college loans, bills, accidnets, break ups, and the cancellation of Charles in Charge all come at blistering pace and remind you that sometimes life isn’t fair…

I’m not complaing (in theroy) I’m looking back on to my life and realizing, I should have been more prepared for life and it’s curve balls. Let’s go back, maybe it was my car accident when i was 16. Or the broken arm when i was 8. Yes, these taught me valuable lesson, but niether of these, or the myriad of other curves balls clued me into the fact that the world is a cruel place.

Back in the day, and some of my younger friends may not be able to grasp the true nature of this blog, and some friends that are of age, will look back on to the same example and curse the world with me…

Crocodile Mile. You see I loved Crocodile Mile. I loved the commercial to no end…. I mean who wouldn’t, “YOU RUN, YOU SLIDE, YOU HIT THE BUMP AND TAKE A DIIIIIIIIIVE!!!” (all of this of course is sung with a sweet little jingle that i know everyone just heard in their head.)

Imagine my surprise when one summer, my mom being the wonderful woman that she is, purchased a Crocodile Mile for fun in the sun. I could barely contain myself when opening the package. I couldn’t wait to Run, Slide, Hit the bump, and take a dive. After 15 minutes of setup, there it was in all it’s yellow glory!! Ready for an EXTREME summer, where all the cool kids would wanting to be my friend! (This was in fact a huge draw, because back in the day I was a loser.) In families of more than one kid, older brother rules apply… which means the older brother always gets to go first. So of course my anticipation was building even more for my turn…. and here it came!

I can remember the first run down the glorious Crocodile Mile. I took off in a mad sprint that Carl Lewis would have envied. I dove head first, arms outstretched, preparing myself, to hit the bump and take a dive! Here it came…. closer and closer…. and finally…. i hit the bump.

Now wait a second! What the FUCK was that?!?!? This isn’t what happened on the comercial, and why the hell is my side bleeding!

You see life isn’t fair. The “pool” you supposedly land in is a foot and a half wide, and roughly 6 inches deep! In addition to the bird bath for a pool, the Crocodile Mile stricly states to clear all foregin objest where you lay it down… What they don’t say is “becuase our so called pool is too small to actually take a dive, you will clear it therefore sliding straight into whatever is beyond the Crocodile Mile. Hence the uncleared area, full of rocks, twigs, and whatever else you just threw there, cause you figured the pool would catch you.

You see people the world is a cruel place. People lie. People steal. College loans take forever to pay off, significant others will dump you, and your favorite tv show WILL be cancelled. But the deepest pain of all is realizing the Crocodile Mile is a sham.

(that and pulling the rock out of your skin.)



2 responses

2 06 2008

Just to relive it…..

2 06 2008

Being the little kid that I was, I hadn’t realized every time the camera panned to show the kid coming into the “pool landing” it was in slow mo. I now know that’s because that little bastard went shooting into the uncleared area right afterwards.

I will admit though I was one of those kids hitting that bump at full speed.

man I miss Crocodile Mile.

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