Nature 2. Hippies 0.

13 04 2008

I am a very proud member of Netflix. I absolutely love this service. It’s basically Hollywood Video or Blockbuster on the internet. I honestly believe that everyone should take part in Netflix. It’s so freakin simple to get the movies you want to see without having to deal with a membership card, or late fees, or the pre-teen customer service one has come to find at such video stores.

These past couple of weeks I rented two similar movies that really got me to thinking. I rented Grizzly Man and Into the Wild. Grizzly Man was a documentary about a man who spent 13 summer with the Grizzly bears in Kodiak Alaska, while Into the Wild was a movie about a young man who gave up all his material possessions to live in Alaska. Both are true stories.

Here is where I have my problems. I hate hippies. That’s right you heard me. I hate hippies.

Sometimes I think hippies ideals are valid. That they may have some really good ideas. Then I realize after watching the movies that I did, that hippies are stupid. Like literally stupid. Here’s where I make my point.
(Caution Spoilers to both movies coming up.)

In both cases of these movies the people died! And I’m not talking some nice peaceful death, I’m talking gruesome Mother Nature giving you the bird death. The first hippie Timothy Treadwell who spent 13 summers with the grizzlies often thought “The bears are my friends, I have respect for the bears, so they won’t hurt me.” Well Tim, guess what, Mother Nature said Fuck you, and some grizzly bear gnawed off your face. Literally. So much for being in love with nature, idiot.
(ps the whole documentary is video from him filming himself. However, the bear attack came so quick, he couldn’t get the lens cap off. Sound was rolling.)

The second guy, died because he too put his faith in mother nature and though he could live off the earth. Which, kudos to you man, he pulled off for 9 weeks. Then bam! Put too much faith in a book about plants and ate one, and again mother nature said AH Fuck you! Dude dies of starvation. Which goes to show you hippies, don’t put too much faith in books. They’ll kill you.

I applaud people for having beliefs and loving Mother Nature. But I wish hippies would key into one factor, nature is a woman people. That’s right Mother Nature. And just like a woman, the minute you think you’ve figured it out, she freaks out and gives you the silent treatment. And all you want as a guy is to fix it, but she just keeps saying “I shouldn’t have to tell you what’s wrong with me, you should already know!” But of course you don’t know so she punishes you in the worst way possible. (which is all dependent on each relationship) In this case, Mother Nature likes to show you who REALLY wears the pants in the relationship, and gives you the ultimate fuck you!

Speaking of, I wish the hippies that are invading the trees so a college football statium’s construction will be halted would set aside their hippie ways for just a couple hours, rent a DVD player and watch Grizzly Man and Into the Wild. Hopefully they’ll realize that even though they respect the trees, those trees are just a part of mother natures wrath….

Come to think of it, maybe they shouldn’t be clued into the evil ways of Muther Effing Nature.

Sorry if that felt a little too much like a rant…

I thought I’d leave you with some upcoming movies that I would like to see.

Starting with Step Brothers.

I dunno what it is, I just think it look hilarious! Like really freakin Hilarious. Love Will.

The next movie I REALLY want to see is The Happening. It’s by one of my favorite directors of all time, M. Night Shyamalan! That’s right, I really like his work. I think a lot of people just didn’t understand Unbreakable and for the love of god, Signs still freaks me out! I just felt as if he did a great job of making peoples reactions “real.” Anyway, here’s the trailer….

(ps, there is currently a bug flying around the light above me as I write this…. literally freaking me the fuck out. (dammit, I promised myself that I had reached my F word quotient for the blog. Son of a bitch, now I feel bad.))

Next up is Son of Rambow. I’ve got this wierd likely for english humor. Like I love Monty Python, The Black Adder, and my favorite new show Top Gear. So when I came across this little trailer I was genuinely excited… here it is, enjoy.

Well there it is for the night. Hope you enjoyed the blog…. Want all of you to know, I did watch the RoL2 season finale and a full recap will be coming shortly! Until then.

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29 06 2008
What’s Happening? « I Use Sarcasm As A Weapon….

[…] movie itself, it was a stretch) would like to point out that I have written many times (here, and here) about mother nature and the power she wields. She’s one cranky bitch my friends, so maybe, […]

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