Reality Round-Up 3/25

25 03 2008

It’s Tuesday morning and I’ve decided that I’d do a little round-up/summary of this weekends Reality shows that I watch. (Not including American Idol, cause I haven’t watched that show in a week or two… Ps, as long as David Archuleta, Syesha Mercado, and Brooke White all stick around I’ll still have some sort of vested interest.)

So Sunday night I continued my Love Affair with Rock of Love. Last week was especially hard for me, seeing as how Kristy Jo was booted off. Well…. not booted off, she chose to go. It was pretty heart breaking for me and for Bret. Not only did he lose the love of his life, but I lost my office pool. And by office pool I mean me and my dog Bobbie, who’s half retarded, so I’m not sure her bet counts. Bret was SO heartbroken he didn’t even stay to have a beer. WTF??? No beer? There is no way Bret didn’t stay and have a beer. What is this world coming to? It must really be true that Bret loves the Crazies. Cuase I mean Kristy Jo, was “TBIC” crazy.

On to this weeks episode in which Bret brings the ladies ex boyfriends (and one “best friend”) to the mansion to meet up and get some dirt. In addition, in brings in former cast member Heather to get the dish on the ladies! And holy hell, does she ever. First, however, Bret attempts to make nice with the boys. Which by all intense purposes was a shitty 15 minutes of my life. All of them were pretty much there to be pretty on TV. Except Adam, Ambers best friend. Genuine guy who deep down is secretly in love with Amber, but doesn’t have the eyeliner/bandana power to ask her out. Anyway, the guys basically play nice, when they had every oppotunity to stab each girl in the back. Kudos to you gentlemen. (I use that term VERY loosely)

Back to Heather at the homestead and the big revelations of the night….
#1. Megan was formally on a reality show Beauty and the Geek. (I may or may not have already known this the second I saw her. Which translates into me watching Beauty and the Geek.)
#2. Destiny is a groupie. Really??? Shocker!
#3. Little Jessica can’t hold her liquor. Gets REALLY wasted tackles girls, Bret, the fake marble statues, and Big John. Oh some mention of her being really innocent.
(Line of the night did come when Bret got back and Jessica was tossed… “It’s ok, I remember my Freshman year too.” HOLY HELL did I start busting up. Do you? Do you REALLY remember your freshman year Bret Michaels?
#4. Amber’s a nice girl. And BOOOOOOORING. Good gosh, cause some controversy for the love of Bret.
#5. The shocker of the night, Daisy still LIVES with her gorgeous/pretty/beautiful ex boyfriend. Seriously when Bret, Daisy, and Charles were all on screen I swear to god it was an advertisement for MAC cosmetics, Vidal Sasoon Hair Products, Claire’s Accesories, and Trojan Condoms.

oh and Ed Hardy. WTF?

This all comes out, and it’s time for Bret to make a decision. And it basically comes down to the fact the Bret’s afraid that poor hot little Playboy Bunny Megan is only in it to advance her career. Damn you ex boyfriend! DAMN YOU!!!!!!
So we’re left with Destiny, Amber, Daisy, and Innocent “Can’t Hold My Liquor” Jessica. I’m still thinking Daisy can pull out the win (another pun intended) but watching previews of next week have me questioning that outcome. Which is totally awesome for me, because if Daisy leaves, then I feel as if none of the other girls are fit for Bret which means they wont last, which ultimately means, Rock of Love 3! BOO YAH!

I’m not going to lie to you all. Last night a show came back that I’ve been secretly waiting for.

The Hills.

Thats right I’m a closet (not anymore) Hills fan. I’m not sure what it is about the show, but I just love it. It’s a guilty pleasure and I couldn’t wait for it to get back on air. (ps I find it odd that a “reality” show started new episodes “after” the writers strike, but whatev.)

So we join our friends Lauren and Whitney in Paris for Teen Vogues Ball. Blah blah blah… boring boring boring…. Lauren runs into some douche French dudes, which isn’t a stereotype it’s just the truth. Lauren ruins a dress convienently gets a brand new one from a store whos named gets splashed across the bottom, ball goes off without a hitch, Lauren gets a motorcycle ride from Douchey Frenchman #1 all is good. Oh but Brody has a gf back at home. Took him two days… well no shit, he’s rich. And He lives in LA. Rich and LA are two qualifications for most whores. I’m sure this drama will continue well into the season. Yay!

The train-wreck of the whole show was indeed King of All Douchebags Spencer and Heidi. We left them as Heidi had taken off to go home leaving the smartest guy alive home in LA. Flash forward to this season, and Douchebag with no upper lip, cannot get a hold of the love of his life. She wont return his calls, he’s left her so many messages that her mailbox is full, and she’s in Colorado. So what does he decide to do? GO TO COLORADO??? WTF??? Who does this? You’re a fucking idiot along with being a douchebag. Not only that but once he arrives in town Heidi’s parents don’t want him around! Like at all! They want him gone. And so does Heidi. It was a train-wreck.

My favorite part had to have been when Heidi toasted her family, and not Spencer, right in front of him. Take the hint dumbass! take the hint! GO THE FUCK HOME! I have no idea how someone in this world can be that stupid, ignorant, and dumb all together. It literally boggles my mind. What a effing douchenozzle. So that’s that, I’m looking forward to an excellent season of The Hills, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I will however leave you with this parting piece. For those of you who don’t read Perez Hilton I just want to share this little picture he created that sums up my feelings for the worst Subject of a Man in the world…..

Spencer Beavis

The only thing missing from the Hills last night was Audrina. Which makes me sad.

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6 responses

25 03 2008
JDub

My only remaining hope for Rock of Love 2 is that while in Vegas on next week’s episode Bret gets a reality check – realizes this crop of girls are lame and something scandalous goes down with Heather throwing her back in the mix..or Kristy Joe coming crawling back.

After watching The Hills premiere my real issue is with MTV. You obviously set Lauren with those French band dudes…you’re telling me they were the best you could do? Like there’s no hottie model/TRL France host you can have her “run into”…those dudes were tres not cute…at all. Dear MTV, You could have done better. Sincerely, JDub

26 03 2008
Blondie

That’s right. I’m on your blog!

Kristy Jo is a stupid bitch and I have no doubt she’ll resurface when they’re down to 3 (aka after Jessica goes home). Let me be clear. I heart Jessica. When that little ball of vomit was trying to talk to Bret and all she could say was (literally) ‘blah blah blah’ she captured a place in my heart. And while Amber may be boring (and I love her because she’s normal) though not a fit for Bret – she’ll be in the final 2 until Daisy ultimately wins. Ahhhh. Can’t wait for Heather Week 2.

26 03 2008
DoubleDown

thank you, and welcome to my blog.

You really think Kristy Jo is just going to come back like some sort of American Idol “Wildcard?” You obviously don’t know how the ROL2 works.

And did you see the “what happens next week montage?” If you did then you saw Heather taken a swing at Daisy. For the love of Bret, you know if Heather is taking a swing at some 85 pound floosy, then 2 things are taking place…
#1 that bitch is getting knocked the Fuck out!
#2 probably not winning ROL2.

just a thought.

27 03 2008
Blondie

You said it yourself. Bret didn’t even have a Bret Brew about Crazy Bitch Kristy Jo left. If she wanted to come back after she takes care of her business (hubby #2) then she totally could. I will still be sitting on the edge of my seat to see what happens.

Also, Heather didn’t win ROL1 so stripper fighting aside I don’t think he cares too much about Heather’s option of Daisy. She’s not going anywhere. He likes crazy girls and will want to figure out what’s going on with her before letting her go. buh bye innocent little Jessica

27 03 2008
DoubleDown

While I see the validity to your argument, once must also remember Bret hates the negative energy.

And I’m pretty sure you don’t need a shaman to roll in and see that Heather laying a bitch out is pretty negative energy. Hence why my fav and yours Daisy will be going home this week.

I’m willing to put a bet on it too!

31 03 2008
Blondie

Looks like we should have placed that bet.

Blondie 1
DoubleDown 0

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