Ben Affleck is Going To Be Pissed….

25 02 2008

I’ve been slacking on my posting as of late. I happened to have been in Las Vegas for the last couple of days, so my writing took a gigantic back seat to drinking and attempting to pick up hookers.

And by pick up I mean shouting out the dollar amount I was willing to pay for their services.

“Dollar seventy five!!!!”

Once I shouted two fifty to which one of my lady friends in attendance shook her head awkwardly and disgusted said,

“you’d give that girl two hundred and fifty dollars to have sex with her?”

to which I replied….

“Fuck no, I meant two dollars and fifty cents! I may be desperate to have sex, but that doesn’t mean I”m not looking for a bargain!”

Anyway, if you were in Vegas and got shouted at by some dude with a dollar amount, be happy if you cracked $4.99. Only the select few did.

Which brings me to my point about neglecting my writing. While I was in The Vegas for only a short time, it was damn near a coma inducing trip. Late nights, tons of booze and the aforementioned hookers. Oh, and I did have some of the best friends in the world accompanying me along the way.

After returning home at 10 am, I was only awake for roughly 3 hours. I awoke in time to catch most of the oscars. If you’ve read my previous posts, I love movies. And I love watching which movies get rewarded for being great. Even when I disagree.

I totally think Ellen Page should have won. I mean come on…. She’s cute, smart, witty, sarcastic, rich, “indie,” and my current crush. So I’ll totally kick your ass if you don’t agree!!!!

None of the aforementioned reasons have anything to do with the fact that she was really good in that Juno movie. Oh, and Tilda Swinton scares me.

Speaking of boyfriends kicking ass did any of you catch this little gem??

Thats right, Busey wanted to get a little Alias action! And did Jennifer Garner actually ask for Ben Affleck?? Like WTF was Ben Affleck going to do?

Seriously?

Kick Busey’s ass? No effing way in hell does Affleck have a chance against Busey. I mean, maybe if it was a competition comparing careers Affleck might have the advantage (Phantoms was the shit!) But in terms of a physical altercation, Crazy Busey would just straight up mop the floor with Pretty Boy Ben.

I actually think Jennifer Garner has a better chance at whopping Busey’s ass than Ben does. The only scenario I see Ben Affleck coming out on top (innuendo intentional) is if it was the last day of high school in 1976 and O’Bannion and his friends are out and about paddling pre-frosh with paddles and Busey happens to be one of those pre-frosh, then, and ONLY then, does Aflleck win.
Ben Affleck-Fred O’Bannion

ps this hilarious video also confirms my suspicion that Affleck would get his ass kicked….

I may have started crying whilst watching that video. Any video that contains Harrison Ford, Huey Lewis, Brad Pitt, and Don Cheadle is comedy gold.
Plus it had Cameron Diaz making inappropriate hand gestures.

Classy Cameron Diaz. Classy.

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