Pick 6

28 02 2008

About a year ago I posted a bulletin on myspace. Basically what I was to do is put my iPod/iTunes on shuffle and see what came out. Then write a little synopsis of why I have this song and why I like it.

So upon seeing my friend JDub have the same thing posted on her blog, I figured I’d revisit it because truth be told. It’s a lot of fun.

I really hope you enjoy.

Title-Artist

Open Road Song-Eve 6
Back in the day I was a bit of an alterna-teen. I like the alternative movement. I think some great music came out of that time. I also love movies. So upon entering the theater and hearing this little ditty be the opening for Can’t Hardly Wait, it was like a match made in heaven. The movie was good too. As is this song! Whatever happened to Eve 6?

Such Great Heights-The Postal Service
I’m not going to lie. I’m a poser. I only like this song because its on the UPS commercials. I still really like it. But do I own thier CD? No. Would I pay to see them? No. Would I like them 10 times more if they were on the OC? Probably. All besides the point. Fun song.

Hey There Delilah-Plain White T’s
I’m not going to lie. I love this song. I have since I heard it before it was released. (That was a luxury of mine working at the radio station. Had stacks and stacks of CD’s I had to wade through to pick out new music to play on the station.) This was one of those songs. In fact I can still remember the meeting I had with the record rep when he said you’re going to love this. And I did. At the time the words had a lot of meaning. Not so much anymore. It’s just a good song.

Freshman-The Verve Pipe
I’ve always loved this song. A lot. Reminds me of high school. I had heard that this song was about some girl who died at a college party. But I may be wrong. I can still remember them playing this song acoustic on the Jenny McCarthy show. wow.

The World Has Turned And Left Me Here-Weezer
This album, is probably one of my top 5 albums of all time. I’m serious. I don’t know what it is, but I love Weezer. Maybe it has something to do with finding them in high school, or there infectious guitar riffs, whatever it is I’m hooked. Essentially it’s just a break up song. No more no less. I still like Weezer, but nothing will ever compare to this album. Makes me smile.

My Posses On Broadway-Sir Mix A Lot
For those kids outside the West Coast Sir Mix A Lot had a couple albums and songs outside of Baby Got Back. People forget that. This song is AWESOME. I love the lyrics and the beat. Plus it talks about some pretty famous places in Seattle. One of which is a place to eat called Dicks. Just a heads up people, if you get drunk in Seattle and ask your cabbie to take you to a Taco Bell, more than likely he shall respond…. No Taco Bell. Only Dicks. And you will find yourself at one of Seattle’s most famous late night stops. POSSE UP!

So there you have it folks, the first edition of the Pick 6. I figured I’d call it that cause it’s a gambling term, and well I do have a small addiction to gambling. just saying. Hope you enjoyed…





Tag

27 02 2008

I’ve got a couple of friends that have blogs, and in checking up with them I was “tagged.” Meaning they filled out this little questionnaire and tagged me at the end and letting me know they’d like me to fill it out.

So, while on my friend JDubs blog www.ifjuliefell.wordpress.com I found myself “tagged” at the bottom. Make sure you click her page as well.

Without further ado….

4 Jobs I’ve Held:
1. Music Director at a Radio Station.
2. Promotions/Marketing Assistant.
3. High School Soccer Coach.
4. Best Buy Sales Associate.

4 Movies I’ve Watched Over and Over Again:
1. Swingers
2. Friday
3. Karate Kid
4. Star Wars/Indiana Jones

4 Places I’ve Been:
1. Las Vegas, Nevada
2. Boston, Mass.
3. Seattle, Wa
4. San Diego, Ca

4 Places I’ve Lived:
1. Portland, Oregon
2. Londonderry, New Hampshire
3. South Jordan, Utah
4. Pocatello, Idaho

4 TV Shows I Watch:
1. Chuck
2. Heroes
3. SportsCenter
4. Rock of Love

4 Radio Shows I Listen To:
1. After
2. Getting
3. Laid Off
4. None

4 Things I Look Forward To:
1. New Movies
2. March Madness
3. Red Sox Baseball
4. Free Pizza.

4 Favorite Foods:
1. Burritos
2. Pizza/Crazy Bread
3. Chinese Food
4. Macaroni and Cheese Spirals

4 Places I’d Rather Be:
1. Las, Vegas
2. Fenway Park
3. Old Trafford
4. a booze cruise.

4 People I email regularly:
1. The Boss Man
2. JDub
3. Stampy
4. CLO

4 People to Tag:
1. CLO
2. The SS News Anchor
3. Alicia
4. The Rest of my Sarcasians.





I’m A F’ing Pageant Queen.

26 02 2008

So some of you may know….. wait. Actually non of you know cause I’ve never brought it up here.

Well then, a little bit of an backstory is necessary. You see I think one of the reasons I started blogging is because I was (still am) out of my mind bored. I was laid off from my dream job back in October.

I used to work in radio as a Music Director for an adult format station. And no, not that type of adult station. You know the type that plays Elton John, Billy Joel, and mixes in some new shit from Kelly Clarkson or Daughtry. You know, the station your mom used to listen to in the car, and the one you hear while you’re getting your teeth sanded down! Now I’m not saying this was my format of choice, but I worked my ass off and earned my way to one of a radio stations top spots.

And to be honest with you it was fun! It was the best job i’ve ever had. Quite frankly now that I think about it, that’s not really saying that much. Considering I’ve worked at a big box electronics store I shall call the “Buy More.” And I’ve worked at an indoor playground by the name of SuperPlay. Both of witch jobs if I were to still be doing, I may have chosen to slit my wrists and die.

That is all besides the point though. The point is I was laid off. 

Now being laid off has its advantages. I can play World of Warcraft all day long with only lunch/dinner and bathroom breaks to interrupt me. I can stay up till all hours of the night watching Cheaters/Elimidate/RonCo on television. I can also go to Vegas and not care about being sober enough to return to work the next day. With all these pluses comes the downside.

I don’t make any money (other than unemployment) and I have to look for a job. Now I don’t know about you but I can’t stand looking for a job. I wish the job would somehow show up on my doorstep like the baby Moses. But unfortunately that’s not the plan.

So as it happened I came across a promising job that I felt I would really enjoy. It was with a small advertising agency that I though I would do well at. I was put through the process of two interviews, in which I thought I did smashing.

I have to say, that some time in my past I actually dated pageant queen. She was Ms. Small Ass County that entitled her a trip to compete in State. If she were to win at State, it was on to Miss America, WHOO HOO *fist pump*!! Now if you’re a dude and you’re reading this, you have hopefully given me a successful internet blog high five, just for the simple fact that a dude you pseudo know bagged a pageant queen. (ps as a sidebar they’re TOTALLY not supposed to do that.) Anyway, when you’re dating a pageant queen they expect to win. They do all sorts of crazy shit for six months in attempts to win. Diet, exercise, take pills, throw up, practice their talent, practice their platform and who knows what else. Most of the time in expense of spending time with reality.

After all this is said and done a pageant queen comes away winning or losing. There really is no middle ground. When they win, all is right with the world. When they lose. EVERYTHING is wrong. Their dress was the wrong color, vaseline didn’t make me smile enough, Susie had bigger breasts, my speech wasn’t good enough, I did an 7 counts instead of 8 in my dance, the judge thought I was a whore, my platform sucked… all of these and MILLIONS more a pageant queen thinks about when they lose.

And then…. it hit me. I’m a fucking pageant queen. For the last 24 hours I’ve been sitting at home questioning what the hell happened??? I thought they liked me. Was my tie crooked, was one of the girls threatened by my stunning good looks, did I answer a question wrong, should I have shaved for the second interview, was my hair wrong (it wasn’t) did I wear the right shoes, should I have lost a few more pounds??

I’ve been at a loss all day. I thought I nailed the interview. I thought I nailed the talent portion.

At the end of the judging process, it’s not the one with the most charisma, talent, and poise, it’s the one who fucks the judges.

Bitch.





Bitches Wittier Than I.

26 02 2008

This whole blogoshpere world is new to me.

I mean I came from MySpace where little 12 year olds and people I’d known and talked shit about in high school read my blogs.

Now I’m a little more grown up and writing to the masses of people who constantly look for approval. Or just want to get something off their chest.

I can understand.

I’ve got millions of stories that I think could fill the pages of a blog.The key I suppose is how to relate to people.

You see, I pretty much hate people. I think a lot of people are stupid. I think America is creating an entire legion of stupid people. Hence why I use a lot of Sarcasm. Stupid people don’t get it. They think I’m being serious.

Like for example. In the airport on my way out of Vegas, my friends and I were all in the security line. Seperated by the retractable nylon rope, a young kid who had apparently just accomplished something shouted….. “I DID IT!”

to which I replied (albiet drunk/hungover/sleepily/sarcastically) “Yeah ya did.”

Now, people with above intellegence would have caught on to my subtle congratulatory way of rewarding this young spawn of stupid in a job well done! He haddone it. Although the it, is still in question.

Well Spawn of Stupids mother, Stupid, was none to please with my subtle congratulations to a job well done. She replied snidely “Yeah YOU did.” and shot me a menacing look.

I felt a strain on our relationship.

But this is just another example of how my sarcasm is left unrewarded. How I feel isolated in a world where because of the failing educational system in america people will slowly never know what it’s like to appreciate sarcasm.
Here are the top 5 reasons why people will never harness the power of sarcasm.
1.)Text messages. You can’t pick up on Sarcasm in text messages. Unless it’s from me, then 99% of mine are laced with it.

2.)IM Chats. My friends and have a special color for sarcasm. Kids these days are too lazy to do that.

3.) Email. You can’t say to your boss “you’re a dick” in an email without him thinking you’re serious.

4.) School. I don’t think the schools teach English anymore. Literally.

5.) Reality TV. Prime example is when Elodie congratulated the backstabbing Heidi (who just jacked her job) And Heidi was thankful. It was pure gold. Bitch thought she was serious in congratulating her. That my friends is sarcasm at its finest.

Anyway… I know this has gone on long enough. And it may even be a bit non-senseical (which I’m not sure is even a word) but I give credit where credit is due. People who use sarcasm should always be rewarded.

So here are some people (through the world of blogs) I have found to be sarcastic, and for the most part… wittier than I am. I some respects I feel like Anakin Skywalker as a boy and not realizing my potential. These people/blogs are Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

enjoy!
The Letter D: Best of D
The Superficial -Because You’re Ugly
Everything is Wrong With Me 





Ben Affleck is Going To Be Pissed….

25 02 2008

I’ve been slacking on my posting as of late. I happened to have been in Las Vegas for the last couple of days, so my writing took a gigantic back seat to drinking and attempting to pick up hookers.

And by pick up I mean shouting out the dollar amount I was willing to pay for their services.

“Dollar seventy five!!!!”

Once I shouted two fifty to which one of my lady friends in attendance shook her head awkwardly and disgusted said,

“you’d give that girl two hundred and fifty dollars to have sex with her?”

to which I replied….

“Fuck no, I meant two dollars and fifty cents! I may be desperate to have sex, but that doesn’t mean I”m not looking for a bargain!”

Anyway, if you were in Vegas and got shouted at by some dude with a dollar amount, be happy if you cracked $4.99. Only the select few did.

Which brings me to my point about neglecting my writing. While I was in The Vegas for only a short time, it was damn near a coma inducing trip. Late nights, tons of booze and the aforementioned hookers. Oh, and I did have some of the best friends in the world accompanying me along the way.

After returning home at 10 am, I was only awake for roughly 3 hours. I awoke in time to catch most of the oscars. If you’ve read my previous posts, I love movies. And I love watching which movies get rewarded for being great. Even when I disagree.

I totally think Ellen Page should have won. I mean come on…. She’s cute, smart, witty, sarcastic, rich, “indie,” and my current crush. So I’ll totally kick your ass if you don’t agree!!!!

None of the aforementioned reasons have anything to do with the fact that she was really good in that Juno movie. Oh, and Tilda Swinton scares me.

Speaking of boyfriends kicking ass did any of you catch this little gem??

Thats right, Busey wanted to get a little Alias action! And did Jennifer Garner actually ask for Ben Affleck?? Like WTF was Ben Affleck going to do?

Seriously?

Kick Busey’s ass? No effing way in hell does Affleck have a chance against Busey. I mean, maybe if it was a competition comparing careers Affleck might have the advantage (Phantoms was the shit!) But in terms of a physical altercation, Crazy Busey would just straight up mop the floor with Pretty Boy Ben.

I actually think Jennifer Garner has a better chance at whopping Busey’s ass than Ben does. The only scenario I see Ben Affleck coming out on top (innuendo intentional) is if it was the last day of high school in 1976 and O’Bannion and his friends are out and about paddling pre-frosh with paddles and Busey happens to be one of those pre-frosh, then, and ONLY then, does Aflleck win.
Ben Affleck-Fred O’Bannion

ps this hilarious video also confirms my suspicion that Affleck would get his ass kicked….

I may have started crying whilst watching that video. Any video that contains Harrison Ford, Huey Lewis, Brad Pitt, and Don Cheadle is comedy gold.
Plus it had Cameron Diaz making inappropriate hand gestures.

Classy Cameron Diaz. Classy.





Sin City

24 02 2008

Dear Las Vegas,

I think we should break up.  

xoxo
me.





Man Good. Woman Bad.

21 02 2008


I can’t say I’m surprised really.

Everyone knows women are the weaker sex, and shouldn’t be anywhere teaching young boys things.

I mean, who’s crazy idea was it to let women enter the workforce in the first place?? Not mine. Who wants an employee that is emotional for 5 days out of the month EVERY month. Or who wants an employee with a smaller brain. Or who wants an employee that makes rash emotional decisions? Who wants an employee who can’t operate the company car?
Not Me!

So I applaud you St. Mary’s! You took a step in the right direction! Way to take a stand in regards to the inferior gender!

Next thing you know women will be getting the right to vote.

sidebar: In closing. I find it hilarious that St. Mary’s believes that women should have no authority over men. Obviously not one of their leaders is married.